Betty ford says i'm here all night
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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