ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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