Small penises have feelings too.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
