I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
