where am i from again
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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