You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
