The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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