i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
