yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
