last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
