Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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