I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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