lets start a swedish sibling band together
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
