okay pat passed out under dana's car
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
