No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
