Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
