Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
