My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
