she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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