Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
