Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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