I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
