note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
