I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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