i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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