After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
