I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
