...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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