I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
