i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
