Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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