Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
