just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
