lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
