can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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