fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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