So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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