how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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