is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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