just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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