I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
