You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize