about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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