I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
