i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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