Don't you send me to vm
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
