Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
