The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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