So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
