Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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