I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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