Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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