It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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