I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
