HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
