What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
