I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
