did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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