he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
