this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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