So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
