If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
