I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
