i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
