I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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