I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
