We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
