Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
