24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
