You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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