I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
