I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
