I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
