I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think my vagina is haunted
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize