Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
