you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
